I’m not sure what my prevalent emotion was – saddened or sickened – when I watched M. Gary Neuman discuss his survey, “Why Men Cheat”, on Oprah’s site.

What irks me the the most is the amount of media play Neuman received. It’s a real coo to get on Oprah once and he managed a second visit along with support for his book.

I tried to keep an open mind as he emphasized that 88 men out of 100 males surveyed stated that the lack of emotional involvement and support from their wife resulted in their infidelity. The survey also stated that 92 of the respondents did not cheat on their wives due to sexual dissatisfaction. Really?

Quite frankly, the surreal segment made me gag. From the response I was not alone, prompting Gary to come back for a second appearance to try and clarify his interpretation of the results.

“But one misperception Gary wants to clear up is that he didn’t write the book to blame women for their husbands’ behavior”. Gary also states that his book is about “empowering women” by giving us knowledge.

Regardless, my impression did not change. Having dealt with infidelity myself, knowing many women who have been affected by a cheating husband and from the extensive research I have complied on infidelity, I found the conclusion presented in “Why Men Cheat” a tough pill to swallow.

I, like many women, felt that the analysis swayed towards the wife’s inability to understand her husband’s need in the emotional department and what she should do to prevent her husband from having wandering eyes. It’s all on your shoulders girl and if you don’t pay attention to your husband, you will be responsible for him finding someone who will.

One thing is for certain. With this type of blame indicated by Neuman’s survey, a husband has a greater chance that his wife will be willing to work through his infidelity. Nothing like turning the table to make the other person feel guilty and responsible, almost obligated to make the wrong right.

To get a taste of why people cheat, you only have to go on relationship forums and read articles and surveys on infidelity. You will see a broad perspective on why men cheat and for that matter, why women cheat. It is crystal clear that cheating happens for as many diverse reasons as there are flavors of ice cream.

Perhaps the information presented by “Why Men Cheat” has merits – somewhere. However,the sample size is unbelievably small,  we don’t know the method of evaluation and we don’t know the background of the participants particular situation. I can’t help question the resounding conclusion that the wife is predominately  responsible for her husband’s infidelity due to her lack of emotional support.

Surveys are difficult to craft, hard to draw accurate conclusions from and easy to spin for the desired outcome. A single survey only offers a single perspective.

By the nature of surveys, one should take them with a grain of salt including the “Why Men Cheat” survey.

Check out Gary Neuman in action. Look at the data and draw your own conclusions based on your experience.

P.S. My hat goes off to the couples presented in “Why Men Cheat”. It takes courage and strength to discuss personal issues on an internationally televised program.