Many women are guilty of ignoring the signs of a cheating spouse.  Wanting to believe their husband would never deceive them and commit such a disconcerting act as infidelity, they close their eyes to obvious cheating signs.  However, when the signs can no longer be ignored, they often feel isolated as they go down the road of discovery alone.

What’s Wrong With Me?

When you suspect your husband is cheating on you, feelings of inadequacy begin to sneak up.  Inevitably, you begin to question yourself.

What could I have done better?
What is missing in our relationship that he is looking for elsewhere?
Am I not good looking enough?
Am I not young enough?
Could I be more passionate or adventurous in the bedroom?

Seldom do you have the opportunity to interject before your partner cheats, since most of the time you have no idea that infidelity is even a possibility in your marriage. Your intuition tells you that something is  amiss or perhaps you have seen a sign of cheating that prompts you to into action. You have a strong need to confirm what you think you already know. While you are mentally dealing with the possibility of betrayal and how it will affect the future of your marriage, your mind races to put together clues. Self doubt lingers at the back of your mind, thwarting focus.

Am I Going Crazy?

Not only do you wonder if you are going a little crazy, you probably are.

Imagine confronting your husband about your suspicions without solid proof. You will be met with anger and claims that you are imagining things and you are crazy. Now the evidence will be more difficult to find or you may have falsely accused your husband of infidelity. Either way your relationship will suffer, not to mention more emotional turmoil for you.

Chances are, if any of your freinds experienced infidelity, they probably did so at great expense to their emotional well being and affected their situation adversely by their approach. When extreme emotions are involved, logic often goes out the window.

Finding someone to lean on during this tumultuous time will help you gain perspective on your situation and prevent you from losing your mind.

Seldom during a time of crisis does one consider sitting down with paper and pen to come up with a plan or strategy on what to do, how to do it and when to do it. All three are taken into consideration when planning out fun activities. Why not do the same for a potential life altering experience?

The only road map available to you is the one you draw up for yourself. No two situations are the same so if you want answers it’s up to you to figure out a way to accomplish your goal.

Call it callous. Call it whatever you want. I call it smart planning.

Start writing.

1. Why do you suspect cheating? What have you seen or heard?
2. What’s going on in your relationship?
3. Have you been paying attention to your marriage lately?
4. Has your husband’s behaviour changed?
5. What is your goal? What do you want to find out?
6. What are the ways you can look for proof of an affair? What will you search for and where?
7. How will you keep your emotions at bay?
8. How will you confront your husband if you find solid proof?
9. What will you do if infidelity exists?

Regardless of how many pieces of evidence you present, and how well you point out all of the signs of cheating you have discovered, be prepared for your husband’s denial and claim that you are delusional. Few men admit to an affair short of getting caught with their pants down.

Don’t second guess yourself!  You are not going crazy.  Trust your intuition, and remember that the facts don’t lie.