Let’s talk about why husbands cheat in the first place.

First throw out the window the notion that your husband would never cheat on you. You say he’s your “rock”, your support, he runs errands, he’s great with the kids and the big one – he would never do that to you.

Everything we do is backed by a motivator. What leads a man to cheat on his wife, includes such motivators as:

The need to feel good about himself.
New relationships are quite often charged with an underlying sexual tone which is an exciting feeling. The rush of hormones can be quite addictive. When someone else pays attention to your spouse by giving him compliments, talking and giggling about happy topics or sharing little secrets, his ego is fueled. Men like attention! If this goes too far, your husband becomes deeper involved and without planning, the affair ensues.

The desire to infuse a little excitement in his life.
All relationships take a down turn from time to time. But if it stays in a slump for too long, without attention and commitment in the marriage, he may turn to another woman to make him feel alive. And, there are plenty of women out there who would be happy to take on that role of playing up to your husband. If he has not drawn a line in the sand as to how far he’s willing to take this new relationship, before he knows it, he’s crossed the line. One thing always leads to another. Without a compelling reason to end contact with the other women, things just heat up. Your spouse finds all kinds of reasons to justify his behavior. Read more on emotional infidelity.

Sex becomes routine or non existent.
Stress is a big factor in the lack of sex in a relationship. Before you both know it, a month or longer has gone by without physical contact. Once you lose that connection to each other, it’s difficult to reestablish the  closeness. If neither spouse makes the move or has a desire to change things, he may start to fantasize about other women. The opportunity to meet other women is not difficult, especially if he puts out the intention to attract someone into his life.

Lack of communication in your marriage.
If your husband is not much of a talker, communicating can be a challenge. You may be able to express how you feel, but you don’t get the feedback from your spouse. If he’s been distant for a little while, it’s hard to figure out why if you haven’t noticed any of the obvious signs of cheating. If you want to know more about what to look for, see the signs of cheating.

Your husband is looking for an affair.
Occasionally a man may decide he wants to play the field – he doesn’t want to miss out on anything and what’s the harm if you don’t know. In this case there isn’t a specific motivator other than he wants to. How many times have you heard a man will cheat “because I can”. This is particularly difficult to pick up on – initially anyway.

Your husband doesn’t even have to be in the “market” for an affair or even be in a vulnerable state. Sometimes opportunity just presents itself and out of curiosity. He could be make a rash decision to have a one night stand. It’s easy to rationalize that it was only once – he wasn’t emotionally committed or he had a few drinks and wasn’t thinking straight.

In most cases you can’t thwart someones determination to have an affair. You can however, listen to what your husband tells you and watch for changes in his behavior and routines. If you suspect that cheating may be involved, take action and either find the proof or discredit your suspicions. Only then will you get the answers you need to make decisions for your future.

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