Waking up in the middle of the night to the faint sound of tapping emanating from a computer keyboard, you wonder what could be so captivating to keep your husband preoccupied on his computer at this hour.

Crawling out of bed, you make your way to the home office. Once he recovers from the surprise of seeing you standing there, he tries to hid his computer screen from your view. Or, he minimizes the program on the screen, opens another program or hits the key to return to the log on screen.

You ask him why he isn’t coming to bed. The actual reason doesn’t matter. What matters is the consistency of his story with his usual behavior, especially when the situation comes up again. If he is involved in an online affair via forums, chat rooms or dating sites, or is using email to communicate with someone, the situation will arise again – soon!

With the increase of venues available on the internet, online cheating is a serious problem. Marriage counselors have seen a dramatic rise in couples trying to recover from on affair carried out online.

If you wouldn’t do it in front of your spouse it is cheating!

The virtual world enables people to establish close relationships regardless of distance or  social connection.  The anonymity of the internet  offers opportunity to invent or exaggerate personal qualities, lifestyle and job thus making themselves more attractive to others.

Fantasy’s can be played out, advice can be sought or “partners” can be attracted.

Presumed “risk free”, conversations become more personal and involved – no different in emotional expenditure than a face to face affair.

As the communication becomes more personal and intimate, his need to communicate with his online lover intensifies. The amount of time consumed on the computer sharply increases and his behavior starts to exhibit signs of cheating.

Top 3 Indicators of an Online Affair

1. Sudden Need for Privacy

All affairs require time and of course privacy. Online affairs take their share of both. The focal point is of course the computer. Here are a few clues to watch for:

• Buys a new computer so he has one to himself.
• He rearranges the computer so the screen is not visible from the door.
• He in on the computer when no one is around.
• The computer is password protected.
• He is secretive of his password or maybe he never used one before.
• The internet history is deleted.
• Email is online and doesn’t forward to his desktop Inbox. (gmail, Yahoo, Hotmail all are online but usually people forward all email to their desktop using a program like Microsoft Outlook).
• He uses instant messaging like MSN (you can see the icon).
• When you enter the room he hides the screen by physically moving his body in front of the screen or he gets up to prevent you from walking in further.
• He changes screens quickly – opens other programs or closes the browser.
• He hits the log off button or off button.

2. Change in How He Behaves

Many may be surprised that an online affair results in some of the same behavioral changes as a “traditional” affair. Look for the following changes in your husband’s behavior.

• Sleep pattern changes -  he gets up earlier or later.
• Frequently talks about the internet (including game rooms – this is where people frequently “meet”).
• Becomes agitated when you call him away from the computer.
• Says he needs to take work home to work on the computer.
• Excited for no particular reason – after being online he has a “glow” about him and it seems like he is on a “high” or he becomes particularly chatty.
• Check out typical signs of cheating.

3.No time for activities

Uncharacteristically, your husband doesn’t seem to have enough hours in a day to get stuff done that he used to do. Do you find he lacks time to do any of the following things?

• Can’t get errands or jobs completed.
• Doesn’t help out with household chores, inside or out.
• Always running behind time and late for work and activities.
• No time for you or the family.

Eventually your husband will exhibit signs of cheating similar to a non virtual affair. To receive my free comprehensive guide on the “Signs of Cheating”,  join my updates on the top right hand corner to check out signs of cheating that may apply to your situation.

If you suspect your husband is involved in an online affair, it’s time for a conversation. Start by asking him his definition of cheating and his view of online relationships.

Don’t be fooled. Online affairs are just as damaging and difficult to recover from in a marriage as emotional and physical infidelity in the real world.

The sooner you take action, the less likely he will travel down the path of virtual infidelity.