When a person chooses to cheat away from home, proof of infidelity is more difficult to find although not impossible.

Besides the typical signs of cheating to be aware of, a long distance affair has its own nuances.

10 questions to ask yourself

• What did you see or hear to lead you to suspect cheating?
• Does he treat you any differently?
• Has anything changed in your relationship?
• When he is out of town, is it difficult to get in touch with him – do you know where he is?
• If you do reach him by phone, is he receptive to your call or does he try to get you quickly off the line?
• Is he away more frequently than usual?
• Are the business trips and the length of time away appropriate for someone in his company position?
• Do you see a change in him immediately after he arrives home?
• Is there a change in pattern as to how he gets from the airport to home?
• Does he give you more than enough information about his trip or is he short on details not willing to talk about his activities away?

Solid proof can still be uncovered. Having an affair requires communication, so look at his cell phone for questionable phone numbers and text messages. Look at credit card receipts for restaurants charges with high dollar amounts for one person or look for non typical purchases from stores you don’t usually shop at. Cash is handy – does he have unusually high cash withdrawals?

If you have strong suspicions that cheating is likely happening, you need patience to find the proof without alerting him. Because an out of town affair can be so elusive, finding proof takes time.

Once you have exhausted finding evidence of an affair, it may be time to confront your spouse. Be cognizant of the sensitivity of the situation and consider your approach very carefully.

Use your judgment in how to best position your questions to get the most positive response from him. This may sound like an oxymoron but what you want is answers, not a fight by challenging him and adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.

Explain in a loving way, how you feel about things between you and how that makes you feel as his wife. Talk about how those feelings lead you to think that he may be having a relationship with another woman.

Listen carefully to his response and observe his behavior.

Is he dismissive – he brushes you off and moves on to a new topic or leaves you standing there alone?
Does he tell you – it’s all in your head, you are crazy, puts all the blame on you, criticizes you?
Does he become angry and what he says doesn’t make sense?
Or, is he supportive and reassuring that he’s not looking for a relationship with another women – you are the one he wants to be married to and he values your relationship?

There are words you need to hear from your husband to subside your intuition. If you don’t hear them or feel the love, your suspicion is not satisfied and your initial feelings prevail.

Without a conclusion you may want to keep your ears and eyes open. Pay attention to what he tells you and examine how the relationship is going. Only you can decide how much time to invest in looking for solid evidence and what to do if you don’t find it.

Before you act on your intuition alone, carefully consider all probable outcomes to make the best possible choices for you and your marriage.