What do you call flirtatious behavior, heart-to-heart conversations, and private email and cell phone messages? This is a new kind of adultery. Emotional infidelity, doesn’t involve sex but it spells trouble.

The reason people become involved in emotional affairs varies. As their dissatisfaction in life grows, they seek someone other than their partner to talk to. This person could be an acquaintance, colleague or close friend.

In the case of Debbie, this person was an employee in her company.

When Debbie underwent surgery, her husband Jerry assumed her role while she was recovering. Jerry was well acquainted with all the employees and this gave him the opportunity to work closely with Tina.

When Debbie returned to work a few weeks later, she was acutely aware that something in the work environment changed. Jerry and Tina spoke none stop and before Debbie knew it, Jerry started telling her things that Tina thought should be changed in the company. He also planned work related projects that exclusively involved Tina. The two were oblivious to anyone around them and working there became uncomfortable.

Jerry launched into a full blown emotional affair. The two become inseparable as the emotional tie strengthened.

Things at home also became strained as Tina’s interests began to creep into Debbie and Jerry’s personal life. Tina’s videos and CD’s popped up everywhere and conversations about Tina dominated their home life.

Debbie approached Jerry about her concern that they both seemed to be focusing on each other at the expense of getting work done and that the employee/employer relationship was being compromised. She insisted that Jerry was not there to be Tina’s friend.

Jerry’s response was outrage claiming Debbie was insecure in their relationship and that she was exaggerating and making things up. The more Debbie pointed out the unusual behavior between Jerry and Tina, the communication between the two intensified shutting Debbie out.

Unbeknownst to Debbie, Jerry believed there was something wrong with their marriage for quite awhile. He recommended they see a marriage counselor since he thought Debbie was in denial and making false accusations.

After weeks of marriage counseling the marriage was rockier than ever. Jerry never admitted to emotional cheating and his relationship between Tina became clandestine. Jerry then went back to his usual business and Debbie fired Tina.

Eventually Jerry ended his communication with Tina but at great expense to his marriage. Conversations about emotional cheating between Debbie and Jerry were off limits leaving the issue unresolved.

Debbie and Jerry continued on with their marriage but the emotional infidelity took its toll and resentment lingered. Debbie felt betrayed and her “rock” was no longer there. Jerry thought Debbie had no right to control his life.

You can’t prevent your husband’s choice to become involved in emotional infidelity. However, you can watch out for the signs of cheating and understand that this type of emotional relationship is just as damaging as a physical affair.

If your husband begins mentioning someones name frequently, be alert. Quite often when the wife finds out who the other women is, she is not surprised. She has heard her name plenty of times. At the beginning of an emotional affair, like other affairs, men can’t stop talking about the other women.

Also, since he convinces himself at the start that it’s just friendly conversation he will be less cautious about what he tells you.

Become attuned to not only what he says, but also how often he talks about the same thing and the degree of emotion he exudes.

If you feel emotional infidelity may exit in your marriage, talk to your husband about his interpretation of emotional cheating. You may not get a straight answer, but you may gain some insight into his point of view.