I’m not saying your husband is guilty; however his “ballistic” response is not unusual for someone who is caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing, especially when they can’t come up with a plausible explanation of what’s going on. The difficulty about confronting your spouse before you have solid evidence of an affair is that the evidence becomes more difficult to find since your partner becomes aware that you are now alerted to any unusual behavior. However, finding evidence of an affair is not impossible.

An emotional affair is one of the most elusive affairs, since partners don’t see themselves as cheating. As a spouse becomes more emotionally attached to someone else, the signs become more blatant.

Focusing on looking for any signs of an affair, helps to open your eyes to things you might normally overlook. Cell phones and email can provide the information you are looking for as communication between the two involved will grow. Keep close to your husband. Act like your relationship is normal, ask questions about topics other than your marriage and listen carefully to what your spouse is saying to you. Become involved in your spouse’s health issue by doing research for him and making helpful suggestions.

It may seem like an oxymoron, but in order to discover whether an affair is going on or not, you need to keep your cool and have patience while your heart is racing and you feel like you are going crazy.

While you are going through this tough time, is there someone you can confide in? Just be careful of finding someone to support you who jumps to conclusions which could be damaging to your relationship.

The signs of cheating will be there if that’s what is happening. Take it step by step and day by day while keeping your sanity.

Take Care,

Susan