Have you ever noticed at work when 2 people start spending more time together than required by the job?

Your spider senses kick in and you say to yourself “there is something more than meets the eye here”?

It’s uncanny how we all have that 6th sense to pick up on the status of others relationships.

We become especially uncomfortable when we know one or both are married.

To the couple, they are unaware of the fact that they go out of their way to run into each other. They may even be oblivious to their flirtatious behavior.

The signs of cheating ensue. The encounters eventually become more frequent and before long they go to lunch together and work together after hours. Like a new romance, being together is exciting and they begin to feel more alive than usual.

Conversations move from work related topics to heart to heart talks like what’s going on at home and in their personal relationship. Worse yet, if their marriage is in a bit of a down turn, like all marriages are from time to time, they complain to the other about how bad things are. This leads to support and sympathy which leads to a tighter bond. “Oh, you really understand me”. “Finally someone cares about how I feel”. “You get me”.

As the relationship continues to grow, so does the addiction to the feelings generated from being around each other. They both make excuses to be together, start to change their routines and can’t wait for the next opportunity to be alone.

Today with cell phones and messaging, communication is instant. Even when they are apart, they can always connect to keep those feelings alive – and they DO. The more  consumed they become with their relationship, the more they become dissatisfied in their life at home and with their spouse. They will usually start to vocalize their displeasure to their partner about their marriage and other areas in their personal life.

This is called “Emotional Infidelity”.

Although the office environment is rip for this type of affair especially since so much time is spent there, emotional infidelity can happen anywhere – the gym, your son’s hockey game, anyplace people meet regularly.

Because sex is not involved at this point, neither person sees themselves as having an affair. However, the emotional entanglement can be far more powerful than sex.

This behavior can only cause the marriage to deteriorate. The spouse at home is unaware of the reason, yet everyone at the office is fully aware of the emotional infidelity going on.

Should the cheating continue; disaster is imminent.

The difficult part is that the two people involved will not just shut off the relationship. Something major needs to interject. The spouse at home may get wind of the relationship from someone at work or they become alerted by other signs of cheating.

Confronting their spouse at this point will be met with plenty of opposition and will not be a guarantee of ending the affair.

The spouse involve will indignantly deny he is emotionally involved with another woman. He may not recognize what you are talking about and perhaps be shocked at the accusation.

Eventually the affair will either become more clandestine or the relationship will break off.  If it does end; they both need to agree to keep their distance and remain professional no matter what.

Make no mistake! As long as the two are seeing each other, the cheating is still active and making any changes in a marriage is impossible.

Following emotional cheating, the breach of trust is more painful and difficult to recover from than sex.

The one involved in emotional infidelity needs to examine what lead them there in the first place and work on improving that part of their life.

Good marriages take an investment of time, commitment and emotional energy between the two spouses.

When something as earth shattering as emotional indidelity affects a marriage, quite often help is needed to repair the state of the relationship.

Today, we are fortunate to have resources at our fingertips. Understanding what is happening and how to deal with this situation can help us through this difficult period.

Ultimately we have to choose the best course of action for our own future happiness and well being.

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